Alternative Olympic Bicycle Sports

Trajectum Fietsen
While watching some of the indoor cycling the other night — which we don’t always understand, but still enjoy — we started joking about what the sports would be if the Dutch had started the Olympics.

We decided that the velodrome bike sports would be a competition to see not only how fast you can go around, but how many people you can fit on one bike while racing. Children would be used, of course, in order to make the most of the multiple child seats. There would also be bakfiets racing.

Other competitions would involve carrying large, awkward items on a bike. Sort of like weightlifting, you’d gradually work your way from surfboards and multiple bags of groceries, up to small trees and small sofas.

There could be a dressage competition for the most interestingly decorated bicycles.

Finally, there could be a competition to “park” a bike in the highest and most difficult to reach position possible. Such as far-reaching branches of a tree over a canal.

What would be a funny Olympic sport representing your country?

9 thoughts on “Alternative Olympic Bicycle Sports

  1. Haha, spot on! I could compete, as I once rode my bike while carrying a very heavy and very tall wooden hatstand with one hand. I balanced it on the handlebar, looking like a knight charging in a medieval tournament. I soon discovered I had no way of steering that way and crashed into a fence because I couldn’t make the turn…. I’d compete, but lose šŸ™‚

    The Indians would compete in cramming as much caged chickens on a bike as they could, and the French would definitely win the “how many baquettes can you cram into your little wicker shopping basket” contest šŸ™‚

  2. ah another one: compete in trying to raise as much decibels as you can while riding your rickety, nearly falling apart old granny bike šŸ™‚

    • I was trying to come up with some way to work in the rickety, falling apart bikes. I think judging on decibels would be perfect! I love the idea of the hat stand as a knight’s lance! Sorry you crashed, but such a fun mental image!

  3. Excellent!! šŸ™‚ I agree, it would have to be bike related sports, no doubt! And as Selvinas says, it would have to involve old people on scooters as well. Today in the news, the summer column dealt with a competition involving people using “rollators” – guess the people at the NOS were also thinking what a Dutch Olympics would involve! šŸ™‚

  4. In America, I think it would be speed-eating (which is already a national sport, so they should do well), marathon eating, relay eating (handing your plate to the next person to finish), free-style eating (look Ma, no forks or knives), breast-eating (obese women can eat off their plate on their chest without lifting a finger), backstroke eating (handing food to the person behind you, to see which team gets to the last in line first), obstacle-eating (who can eat a watermelon the fastest, while not swallowing a single seed), and the hardest of all:form eating (to see who can eat with knife and fork the most gracefully).

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